Introduction

The BMW i7 xDrive60 M Sport Pro might just be the most understated £160,000 you can spend on four wheels. Yes, it wears a familiar BMW kidney grille (albeit one that looks fit for a villain’s lair), but beneath the discreet tuxedo lies a technological masterclass in how to move both people and expectations.

This is a car that’s 5.4 metres long, weighs over 2.5 tonnes, and costs more than most houses. And yet it glides down the road like it’s floating on a giant marshmallow — a near-silent, electrified sledgehammer with 544bhp ready to pounce if you ever feel the urge.

Design & Interior

BMW’s styling department has been bold lately, but in this i7, it just about works. Especially in this example’s £2,500 Frozen Tanzanite Blue paint, which looks as deep as the ocean at midnight. Huge 21-inch alloys threaten to shout ‘footballer’s bonus day’, but the overall effect is surprisingly suave.

Open the door (which you can do with a mere push of a button — why use human muscles when motors can do it for you?), and you’re greeted by an interior that’s arguably closer to a junior Rolls-Royce than to any other BMW. That’s no coincidence — the Bavarian giant does own Rolls, after all.

Climb into the back seats, and it’s basically business class on wheels. Press a button and the front passenger seat obediently folds forward, a footrest pops out, and your seat reclines until you're virtually horizontal, all while your head nestles into a plush pillow. It’s a decadent experience made even more so by the enormous 31-inch 8K ‘Theatre Screen’ that folds down from the roof, letting you binge Netflix or catch the headlines on YouTube. There’s even an HDMI input, should you fancy plugging in a PlayStation.

Add to that ambient lighting that could make a Dubai nightclub look restrained, Bowers & Wilkins sound with speakers embedded in the headliner, massaging seats, cooling, heating, and more USB-C ports than a WeWork office. Your only problem is convincing your chauffeur to give up the wheel.

Tech & Features

Up front, it’s a crystal-studded tech-fest. The iDrive system is now both a touchscreen and rotary dial affair — familiar BMW territory — paired with a driver display that’s crisp and endlessly configurable, plus a head-up display that’ll even show augmented reality navigation prompts.

Haptics creep in on the dashboard and wheel — a personal bugbear, if we’re channelling a bit of Hammond-style fussiness — but it’s forgiven once you see the artful interplay of textures, glass and lighting. At night, it all feels like a high-end cocktail bar, only with slightly fewer overcoats and ironic beards.

Driving

Here’s where the i7 works its true magic. Plant your foot and the 544bhp instantly catapults this vast limousine to 62mph in just 4.7 seconds. That’s quick enough to startle most hot hatch drivers, but the i7 never encourages you to drive like an oik. Progress actually feels rather than urgent, unlike a sub-5-second car usually would, largely due to the quiet cabin and sublime ride quality.

Where a V8 or even an M5 would egg you on to misbehave, this car seems to whisper: “Steady on, old chap.” It’s not that it lacks performance — it simply doesn’t care to show off.

What’s more remarkable is how it rides. On air suspension, the i7 wafts over lumps and scars with a composure that’s borderline spooky. It’s eerily quiet too — a whisper even at motorway pace. There are Hans Zimmer-composed driving sounds if you want a bit of sci-fi theatre, but honestly, the natural hush is more impressive.

Despite its bulk, the i7 handles with surprising grace. The steering is light but direct, there’s scarcely a hint of roll through quicker bends (it’s remarkably flat in the corners), and regen braking is beautifully judged. You can almost one-pedal drive it around town, which suits the laid-back vibe.

Running Costs & The Big Picture

Range is officially up to 387 miles, though in reality, you’ll see a bit less. Charging speeds are healthy, with DC fast charging getting you from 10-80% in about half an hour. Maintenance costs? Well, it’s electric, so you’ll avoid oil changes and cambelts — though should anything go wrong out of warranty, your accountant might quietly sob into their spreadsheets.

Verdict

The BMW i7 is less a car, more a statement. It says: I’ve made it — but I don’t need to shout about it from a chrome Rolls-Royce bonnet ornament.

It’s not a car for those who want the world to stare. It’s for those who like the world to notice, then quietly nod in approval. It’s a car that makes you feel special from the moment you step inside, and leaves you floating on air long after you’ve stepped out.

For the rest of us, who’ll probably never drop £160,000 on a luxury electric barge, there’s at least the comfort of knowing these will eventually enter the used market. And who knows — one day, you might pick up this whispering marvel for the price of a new 3 Series.

Until then, we’ll just keep dreaming.

Specs at a glance:

Power: 544bhp
0-62mph: 4.7 sec
Top speed: 149mph (limited)
Range: up to 387 miles
Price: from £101,775 (this one: >£160,000)

So yes, you could buy a Rolls-Royce if you fancy shouting to the world that you’ve arrived — preferably by installing your initials on the gates and taking your Pomeranian for champagne on Tuesdays. Or you could quietly slip into this BMW i7, let it close the doors for you (because, heaven forbid, you exert yourself), and glide off in electric silence while watching Netflix on a 31-inch screen. It’s still absurdly expensive, still drenched in luxury, but it does it all with a sly nod and a wink rather than a megaphone. Because sometimes, the real winners are the ones who don’t need to prove anything — they’re too busy floating past in a Bavarian cloud.

BMW i7 xDrive60 M Sport Pro Review